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16/09/2005 Some men just don't get it ... Musharraf, for instanceA warning first: This post contains some coarse language. But I feel so strongly about this I had no choice.
Last night was "Take the Night Back" in Canada, an annual event where women and children (no men allowed) are encouraged to take to the streets of downtowns to call for an end to violence against women and children. As a dude, I have absolutely no quarrel with that. Let's face it, it's still a huge problem and we as guys have to do our part to say enough is enough; that rape isn't acceptable, that wife battery isn't acceptable, that abuse of children isn't acceptable.
A few years back, the Toronto based White Ribbon Campaign, a group of men fighting to end men's violence against women, put out a very clever ad campaign that asked a very simple question: "Have you ever noticed the worst thing you call call a man is a woman? (Sissy, wussy, bitch, etc.)" It's perfect and addresses the dilemma we guys face. Admittedly, despite all our claims of wanting equality, there's probably still a streak in us that is chauvanist. But when we're accused of being soft, effeminiate, etc. it's a blow against our ego. The problem is, as White Ribbon correctly points out, is that's the kind of bullshit women have to put up with every single day; and the only way to deal with it is to challenge the women-haters and ladies' men, tit for tat
While the 1989 Montréal Massacre was a huge wake-up call for most (and ironically, the event that finally led to the banning of most semi-automatics in Canada), I have to admit I really didn't pay that much attention to the issue until about the fall of 1993, in my junior year of university. That's when Statistics Canada, in its daily report, put out a survey it conducted of over ten thousand women in Canada, a huge sample size. Within a margin of error of 1.3%, the Government of Canada announced that 53% of women in Canada had been raped or otherwise physically abused at some point in their lives. (The numbers varied from one province to the next; it was something like a low of 34% in Newfoundland to a high of 67% in British Columbia.)
I have to admit I was devastated when I went to the school's library that morning, headed for Government Documents, and read it for myself. I never expected it would be so high, so pervasive.
The problem, as I see it, is partly an issue of machismo and partly cultural. The part about manhood, I don't have to go into, because a real man doesn't hurt a woman under any circumstances ... if he does, he's scum. But the cultural thing is what really worries me. In some cultures, violence against women is not only acceptable but a right of passage.
Some women actually believe they're not a good wife if they fight back, or if their husband doesn't rape them. In extreme cases, women actually contribute to their degradation, such as in some countries where female genital mutilation is rampant -- female elders actually force young girls to undergo the tortuous procedure under the fallacious notion that a woman who experiences pleasure in sex is an abomination.
Then there's the issue of honour killings and rape, which is why I'm ranting this morning. I blogged about this a while back, but there was an item today that made me want to scream.
I've always felt that the President of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf, was a piece of shit. The other day, in an interview with WaPo, he actually said something the other day that proved that he's more than shit, he's just as bad as the other major cheerleader for the extermination of all women, OBL.
Musharraf said: "You must understand the environment in Pakistan. This has become a money-making concern. A lot of people say if you want to go abroad and get a visa for Canada or citizenship and be a millionaire, get yourself raped."
It's not just women's groups that have gotten riled up about this. Canada's Prime Minister, Paul Martin, took the remarks as a personal insult. Breaking normal diplomatic rules about "taking note," he let Musharraf have it, as he later told the Canadian Press newswire.
"I stated unequivocally (to Musharraf) that comments such as that are not acceptable, that violence against women is also a blight that besmirches all of humanity. Canada feels that in the strongest possible way."
At least that's one man taking a stand. It would be good to see more have that courage, but as the head of government, at least he's leading by example on this point. Let's pray that Musharraf understands just how serious this is; that just because a person is of this religion or another, it doesn't entitle a man to commit rape in the name of "honour."
I'm not a violent person by nature. I used to be, but not anymore. If I was still that way, I would spit in Musharraf's face. If anyone deserves that indignity, he does. Comments (1)
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